As a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I have been influenced deeply by a unique theology of the family. The teachings of the church about the divine role of the family in God’s plan has given me extraordinary clarity during these times of great moral and social confusion about marriage, sexuality, and gender. If you will hang with me for an explanation of how this doctrine differs from other Christian teaching, I hope you will find it enlightening.
“The Family: A Proclamation to the World” is the definitive statement of the restored doctrine of the family from the leadership of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. The Proclamation states:
“Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.
"All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.
This belief in the divine nature of gender and the role of marriage as the basic unit of eternity shapes my view of who I am and the purpose of my life now and into eternity. It means my spirit is female, that I was a woman in spirit in heaven long before I was born into my biologically female body. It means it’s impossible for a person to take their first breath of life and find out that their spirit has been accidentally housed in the wrong body. It means that there are divine characteristics and roles specific to men and women that predate earth life. That these characteristics of gender are imbedded into every part of our spiritual and physical creation and innate to the state of society in heaven before birth, in society on earth, and in the society in eternal realms. I don’t just have the body of a woman, I have the soul of a woman.
This doctrine has prompted me to internalize, in a deeper way, who I am as a daughter of God and my place in the family of God. Because of this unique belief the current schism over trans-gender ideology is easy to identify as a pernicious attack from Satan who seeks to destroy our souls, both our bodies and our spirits, and in turn to destroy marriage and family life which is at the center of God’s plan for the progression of his children and for their salvation and exaltation.
Like all traditional Christian people, Latter-day Saints believe marriage and family are organized by God for the well being of the human family on earth, but we also believe the family is an eternal unit and these relationships are the central purpose for the plan of Salvation and the saving grace of our Savior Jesus Christ. A favorite song our children sing at church teaches about families in this beautifully simple way:
Our Father Has a familyIt’s me!It’s you, all others too:we are His children.He sent each one of us to earth, through birth,To live — and learn here in fam’lies.
God gave us families to help us become what He wants us to be—This is how He shares His love,for the fam’ly is of God.
A father’s place is to preside, provide,To love, and teach the gospel to his children.A father leads in fam’ly prayerto shareTheir love for Father in Heaven.
God gave us families to help us become what He wants us to be—This is how He shares His love,for the fam’ly is of God.
A mother’s purpose is to care, prepare,To nurture and to strengthen all her children.She teaches children to obey, to pray,To love and serve in the fam’ly.
God gave us families to help us become what He wants us to be—This is how He shares His love,for the fam’ly is of God.
I’ll love and serve my familyand be —A good example to each fam’ly member.And when I am a mom or dad,so glad,I’ll help my fam’ly remember:
God gave us families to help us become what He wants us to be—This is how He shares His love, for the fam’ly is of God.
A prominent leader in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Julie B. Beck, gave a definitive address on the doctrine of the family in 2009, she warned:
“Public policies are being made every day that are antifamily, and the definition of family is changing legally around the world. Antifamily media messages are everywhere. Youth are being desensitized about the need to form eternal families… The time will come when only those who believe deeply and actively in the family will be able to preserve their families in the midst of the gathering evil around us.… There are those who would define the family in such a nontraditional way that they would define it out of existence. …”
Julie B. Beck taught parents in the church that they must teach their children the doctrine of the family, that they must come to understand that “Without the family, there is no plan; there is no reason for mortal life.” She said, “This generation will be called upon to defend the doctrine of the family as never before. If they don’t know it, they can’t defend it.”
In this address, which was originally given to church education instructors, Beck said that there was a way to judge what is anti-Christ in the last days, she said: “Anti-Christ is antifamily. Any doctrine or principle our youth hear from the world that is antifamily is also anti-Christ. It’s that clear!”
Whether or not you grew up with this kind of religious conviction, that your gender is an essential part of your divine nature and eternal identity, we each know that we are spirit children of God. We have a soul, a spirit, that dwells in us, and if our hearts have not been hardened by the wicked influences of the world, if a spark of the light of Christ can still penetrate our souls, then the nature of our spirit cries out in defiance of the anti-Christ ideologies that attack the sacred nature of marriage, sexuality within the bonds of marriage, child bearing and reading, and the divine roles of men and women, fathers and mothers.
I began this post desiring to share greater insight into why I was so effected by the delivery of a powerful poem “I Am Not a Dress,” written by a 14 year old Irish girl named Brandubh. I’ve watched her deliver her poem a dozen times since I first learned of her amazing story on Megan Kelly’s program. Each time I listen to her poem or read her poem it brings me to tears, and I don’t cry easily. I’ve pondered why it touches me so deeply, why it feels like my weeping is the release of some great anguish, some deep hurt, that is caused by the destructive gender ideology that has gripped the western world.
What I realize is that her poem is expressive of both the anguish and the strength that comes from deep in the heart of her soul, from that divine heart of a woman. The poem is powerful because it speaks the truth of the inner self, a soul that recognizes evil blasphemy and perversion of sacredness, and is not blind to the oppressive and destructive nature of these lies. A soul that was a woman before her birth and will be a woman forever.
The public face of trans-gender ideology, is a despicable and degrading caricature of womanhood, a cheep costume, that glorifies the sexual exploitation of women. It makes objects of women, as though a woman is a costume you put on, a skin you wear; and oh! what a gross debased picture they make of that skin, their portrait of a woman is no more than a sex object. The ideology is clearly anti-family, and if it is anti-family, it’s anti-Christ!
The injury this ideology inflicts on the individuals it seduces into gender confusion and to the rest of us who have our divine natures publicly mocked, is hard to capture in words, but Brandubh did it in her powerful poem.
In this address, which was originally given to church education instructors, Beck said that there was a way to judge what is anti-Christ in the last days, she said: “Anti-Christ is antifamily. Any doctrine or principle our youth hear from the world that is antifamily is also anti-Christ. It’s that clear!”
Whether or not you grew up with this kind of religious conviction, that your gender is an essential part of your divine nature and eternal identity, we each know that we are spirit children of God. We have a soul, a spirit, that dwells in us, and if our hearts have not been hardened by the wicked influences of the world, if a spark of the light of Christ can still penetrate our souls, then the nature of our spirit cries out in defiance of the anti-Christ ideologies that attack the sacred nature of marriage, sexuality within the bonds of marriage, child bearing and reading, and the divine roles of men and women, fathers and mothers.
I began this post desiring to share greater insight into why I was so effected by the delivery of a powerful poem “I Am Not a Dress,” written by a 14 year old Irish girl named Brandubh. I’ve watched her deliver her poem a dozen times since I first learned of her amazing story on Megan Kelly’s program. Each time I listen to her poem or read her poem it brings me to tears, and I don’t cry easily. I’ve pondered why it touches me so deeply, why it feels like my weeping is the release of some great anguish, some deep hurt, that is caused by the destructive gender ideology that has gripped the western world.
What I realize is that her poem is expressive of both the anguish and the strength that comes from deep in the heart of her soul, from that divine heart of a woman. The poem is powerful because it speaks the truth of the inner self, a soul that recognizes evil blasphemy and perversion of sacredness, and is not blind to the oppressive and destructive nature of these lies. A soul that was a woman before her birth and will be a woman forever.
The public face of trans-gender ideology, is a despicable and degrading caricature of womanhood, a cheep costume, that glorifies the sexual exploitation of women. It makes objects of women, as though a woman is a costume you put on, a skin you wear; and oh! what a gross debased picture they make of that skin, their portrait of a woman is no more than a sex object. The ideology is clearly anti-family, and if it is anti-family, it’s anti-Christ!
The injury this ideology inflicts on the individuals it seduces into gender confusion and to the rest of us who have our divine natures publicly mocked, is hard to capture in words, but Brandubh did it in her powerful poem.
We are women, we are warriors of steel.Woman is something no man will ever feel.Woman is not a skill that any man can hone.Woman is our word and is ours alone.
I am not a dress to be worn on a whim,A man in a dress is nonetheless a him.Women are not simply what we wear.If this offends you, I don’t care.
I am not an idea in any mans’ mindAnd my purpose in life is not to be kind.So while my rights are trampled every day of the week,I will not stand by being docile and meek.
I am not defined by sexist lies.There is more to a woman than that shallow guise.That guise of dresses, bikinis and skirts.Those clothes are not what womanhood is worth.
I am not a bitch, a TERF, a whore, a slag,Hysterical, a witch, a slut, a slag.NO! I am a woman, I am a female,Who will not let her rights be put up for sale.
I am not defined by what men are not.So to hell with cis misogynistic rot.I am a woman, I am not a subset of my sex.If this makes me a dinosaur, so be it, I’m a T-Rex!
I am not a bleeder nor a menstruator,A womb carrier or uterus haver.Those words and phrases are such a sham.Just call me a woman, it is who I am.
We are women, we are warriors of steel.Woman is something no man will ever feel.Woman is not a skill that any man can hone.Woman is our word and is ours alone.
As I grew up a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and I was taught that I am a woman, like Eve who was called the "mother of all living" before she ever had a child. I am a mother by my divine nature. Becoming a mother became my greatest desire in life, all of my pursuits — the development of my spirituality, intellect, sociality, and my physical development — were centered on my role as a woman and mother. When I was Brandubh’s age I would stand in my class at church each Sunday and with the other young women in my class we would recite our class theme:
WE ARE DAUGHTERS of our Heavenly Father, who loves us, and we love Him. WE WILL “STAND as witnesses of God at all times and in all things, and in all places” as we strive to live the Young Women values, which are:
Faith • Divine Nature • Individual Worth • Knowledge • Choice and Accountability • Good Works • Integrity • and Virtue
WE BELIEVE as we come to accept and act upon these values, WE WILL BE PREPARED to strengthen home and family, make and keep sacred covenants, receive the ordinances of the temple, and enjoy the blessings of exaltation.
The crowning blessing of the temple in The Church of Jesus Christ is the covenant of marriage. The holiest aspiration of this life is for a man and a women to enter into a marriage for time and all eternity in the sacred sealing room of the temple. We are taught that to nurture a family within the union of marriage is a heritage from the Lord and a partnership with God to bring his children into this life to receive their physical bodies, and to nurture those children in light and truth. Thus marriage and rearing children in families is a sacred work of faith.
For women, the “The Family: A Proclamation to the World” says that “Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children.” A leading apostle in the Church of Jesus Christ, Henry B. Eyring, referred to this poignant statement of a woman's role in the family in an address to the church in 2018. He said:
"While I do not know all the Lord’s reasons for giving primary responsibility for nurturing in the family to faithful sisters, I believe it has to do with your capacity to love. As daughters of God, you have an innate and great capacity to sense the needs of others and to love. That, in turn, makes you more susceptible to the whisperings of the Spirit... this I know: each of you, equally yoked with sons of God, will be a major part of a miracle of gospel learning and living that will... prepare God’s family for the glorious return of the Lord Jesus Christ."
I was married across the alter in a holy temple to my dear husband twenty seven year ago this week. My desire to be a mother was deep and abiding even when nature didn’t cooperate and we struggled to conceive. We had our first miracle baby in 1998 and our second miracle baby in 2009. It isn’t the large family I desired on my wedding day, but my two boys are all the more precious to me for the heartfelt prayer that brought them into my life. We now have the joy of watching our oldest son and are beloved daughter-in-law building their family and nurturing our first grand-child.
The most precious experiences of my life are because of my marriage and family. Family life is a work of faith, it is work, but it is deeply meaningful and satisfying. It’s progression. It’s growing up, it’s expanding to the soul. It's becoming what God wants us to be. I truly mourn for those who desire family life and their desires are not yet realized, but I mourn more for the death of the desire for marriage and family life that I see in our culture. I fear for the terrible consequences we will reap as a society if we continue to allow this destructive anti-family ideology to sweep away the foundations of human flourishing and leave our civilization in ruins. My soul cries out with Brandubh and women everywhere who know that at the heart of every healthy family is a healthy woman. I pray we will be women of tenderness in the walls of our homes and women of steel that stand up in these dark times, in unity with our good and brave husbands, fathers, and brothers, and save the human family in our nations!
