Richard Ostler is a sincere, and from his account, a faithful member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, who shared on his Facebook profile the "journey" that led him to support gay-marriage and give his affirmation and support to those who choose alternative lifestyles. His posting went viral within the Mormon community and struck a cord with many members who believe that compassion and Christlike love require that we extend support to gay persons who choose to live in homosexual relationships. His reasoning is heavily mixed with words about Christlike love and compassion and contradictions of gospel teaching. If readers will take time to sift through the love soup they can discover some very serious fallacies in this mixture of truth and error.
I agonized some about whether or not to respond to his posting, and link to his posting, less I be the means to lead even more members of the church to be persuaded by his arguments. I decided to respond directly because the way that he mingles the philosophies of men with scripture seems to have persuaded others, and mirrors ideas I have heard oft repeated among many of my own friends and associates in the church. As such his public post provides an opportunity to demonstrate some of the false assumptions at the heart of many sentiments that are gaining popularity in the world and among members of the LDS church.
I will attempt to provide a thorough response to the key fallacies that are most commonly repeated in discussions on this topic. I realize as I attempt to respond, that my stand against homosexuality (as a sin) and same-sex marriage (as institutionalized sin) is one that appears to many as a bigoted attack against gay people, or people who suffer with same-sex attraction, thus appearing to many to be an unloving and uncompassionate person, nevertheless, I will try to explain why I believe that affirmation and support for the choice to live a homosexual lifestyle in not compassionate.
It is critical, when evaluating ideas, that we examine the assumptions that led to the idea and weigh those assumptions against eternal truths. If we beat the ideas against the words of Christ, we will see if the ideas stand or fall apart. Let's just go through the post in this way, taking these ideas in the order Ostler presents them.
Ostler: “My view of Christ teachings is to love everyone … even those that choose decisions not consistent with my beliefs ... as I believe love is a doctrine… While I don’t promote or advocate same-sex marriage for anyone, when someone decides to go down this road they will have my love and support as I ‘affirm’ their decision.”
False assumption #1: The "doctrine of love," requires that we affirm and support those who choose to engage in homosexual relations.
Ostler repeatedly couples Christlike love (Charity) with public affirmations of support for the individual choice to live a homosexual lifestyle. This coupling of Christlike love with support for a lifestyle that cannot bring lasting peace or happiness, and is in enmity to the laws of Christ, is a dangerous deception. The pure love of Christ "rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth." (1 Corinthians 13:5; Moroni 7:45) And the truth, though harder to teach, will always be the more compassionate path; for only the truth can set you free, only through learning the truth of God's plan for His children and living the laws that govern his house, can we return to live with him again. Affirming and supporting a fellow being in their choice to enter a life of sin that will lead them to captivity and spiritual death, is not compassionate or loving.
(For God's law on sexuality, marriage and family see: Genesis 18:20; Isaiah 3:9; Duet 23:17-18; Leviticus 18:22-25; 2 Nephi 13:8-9; Jude 1:7; 1 Timothy 1:9-10; Romans 1:24-27; 1 Corinthians 6:9; Moses 1:39; Genesis 1:26–27; Exodus 20:3–17; Matthew 16:15–19; John 17:3; 1 Corinthians 6:19–20; 2 Nephi 2:22–25; Mosiah 2:41; Alma 41:10; D&C 84:20–22; Malachi 4:5–6; Genesis 39:9; Alma 39:9; Genesis 1:28; 1 Corinthians 11:11; D&C 131:1–4; Genesis 2:24; D&C 49:15–17; “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,”)
False assumption #2: I don't promote or advocate same-sex marriage though I offer my affirmation and support.
What does it mean to "affirm their decision?" Affirm is defined as a public pronouncement, to offer (someone, something) emotional support or encouragement. Ostler says that he does not promote or advocate for same-sex marriage, but by his own words he proclaims public support for and provides encouragement to, those who choose that lifestyle. What does Ostler think the word promote means? Promote is a verb that means to further the progress of something, to encourage it, to raise (someone, something) to a higher position or rank. (We will see later in his post how he raises same-sex marriage to a higher rank) When Ostler offers encouragement through affirmation of their choice, he is promoting their choice, he's certainly not discouraging it, and we cannot stand as a witness for Christ by carving out what we think is a neutral position on sin.
Ostler: “It’s not my place to pass judgment and I feel no need to exclude people from my life that live or believe differently.”
False assumption #1: Making judgments might results in excluding people, therefore making judgments is unloving.
Judging righteous judgments does not always require that we exclude people from our lives, though it may require us at times to install appropriate social boundaries. We are commanded to judge righteously, because in a world of darkness we must be able to have a clear view of what is right and wrong. In the church we have a doctrine of judgement as surely as we have a doctrine of love. Members routinely sit before a judge in Israel and account for their actions. As parents we are expected to make judgments on a regular basis about what is appropriate and inappropriate for our children, we stand as judges in our homes. Every time we choose between right and wrong, good and bad, we make a judgement, and each time we exclude one in favor of the other.
Christ has shown us the way to judge: "I say unto thee, put your trust in that Spirit which leadeth to do good—yea, to do justly, to walk humbly, to judge righteously; and this is my Spirit." (D&C 11:12) "For behold, the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil; wherefore, I show unto you the way to judge; for every thing which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God." (Moroni 7:16) Julie B. Beck wrote this couplet to help us judge righteous judgments, she said: "Anti-Christ is antifamily. Any doctrine or principle our youth hear from the world that is antifamily is also anti-Christ. It’s that clear." ("Teaching the Doctrine of the Family")
Clearly we can judge and must make judgments, but do those judgement result in excluding people? And is exclusion unloving? The answers are sometimes and no. As judgments relate to people, sometimes people are excluded from some places, experiences, or associations as a result of righteous judgments. The ultimate witness of this truth is the fact that some will be excluded from entering into God’s kingdom and experiencing all the blessing he has to offer because of his judgment that they were unable to abide the law that governs His Kingdom. As a parallel of this judgement, temple blessings are denied to those who do not abide the laws that govern His house. They are excluded so far as they are denied entrance unless they meet the conditions set by the Lord. Our homes are to be a type of temple, and to gain entrance into that holy space one must at least show respect for the standard we have set for that place.
These judgments that result in “exclusions,” that set conditions for association, are not unloving because of the function they fill in the Plan of Happiness. Their primary function is to protect the children of God and provide a way for them to return home to their Father in Heaven. When the Plan of Salvation is properly understood, when we understand the purpose of life is to learn about, choose to follow, and become like God, then we will view the mercy and love in these earthy and heavenly judgments.
(For God's law on sexuality, marriage and family see: Genesis 18:20; Isaiah 3:9; Duet 23:17-18; Leviticus 18:22-25; 2 Nephi 13:8-9; Jude 1:7; 1 Timothy 1:9-10; Romans 1:24-27; 1 Corinthians 6:9; Moses 1:39; Genesis 1:26–27; Exodus 20:3–17; Matthew 16:15–19; John 17:3; 1 Corinthians 6:19–20; 2 Nephi 2:22–25; Mosiah 2:41; Alma 41:10; D&C 84:20–22; Malachi 4:5–6; Genesis 39:9; Alma 39:9; Genesis 1:28; 1 Corinthians 11:11; D&C 131:1–4; Genesis 2:24; D&C 49:15–17; “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,”)
False assumption #2: I don't promote or advocate same-sex marriage though I offer my affirmation and support.
What does it mean to "affirm their decision?" Affirm is defined as a public pronouncement, to offer (someone, something) emotional support or encouragement. Ostler says that he does not promote or advocate for same-sex marriage, but by his own words he proclaims public support for and provides encouragement to, those who choose that lifestyle. What does Ostler think the word promote means? Promote is a verb that means to further the progress of something, to encourage it, to raise (someone, something) to a higher position or rank. (We will see later in his post how he raises same-sex marriage to a higher rank) When Ostler offers encouragement through affirmation of their choice, he is promoting their choice, he's certainly not discouraging it, and we cannot stand as a witness for Christ by carving out what we think is a neutral position on sin.
Ostler: “It’s not my place to pass judgment and I feel no need to exclude people from my life that live or believe differently.”
False assumption #1: Making judgments might results in excluding people, therefore making judgments is unloving.
Judging righteous judgments does not always require that we exclude people from our lives, though it may require us at times to install appropriate social boundaries. We are commanded to judge righteously, because in a world of darkness we must be able to have a clear view of what is right and wrong. In the church we have a doctrine of judgement as surely as we have a doctrine of love. Members routinely sit before a judge in Israel and account for their actions. As parents we are expected to make judgments on a regular basis about what is appropriate and inappropriate for our children, we stand as judges in our homes. Every time we choose between right and wrong, good and bad, we make a judgement, and each time we exclude one in favor of the other.
Christ has shown us the way to judge: "I say unto thee, put your trust in that Spirit which leadeth to do good—yea, to do justly, to walk humbly, to judge righteously; and this is my Spirit." (D&C 11:12) "For behold, the Spirit of Christ is given to every man, that he may know good from evil; wherefore, I show unto you the way to judge; for every thing which inviteth to do good, and to persuade to believe in Christ, is sent forth by the power and gift of Christ; wherefore ye may know with a perfect knowledge it is of God." (Moroni 7:16) Julie B. Beck wrote this couplet to help us judge righteous judgments, she said: "Anti-Christ is antifamily. Any doctrine or principle our youth hear from the world that is antifamily is also anti-Christ. It’s that clear." ("Teaching the Doctrine of the Family")
Clearly we can judge and must make judgments, but do those judgement result in excluding people? And is exclusion unloving? The answers are sometimes and no. As judgments relate to people, sometimes people are excluded from some places, experiences, or associations as a result of righteous judgments. The ultimate witness of this truth is the fact that some will be excluded from entering into God’s kingdom and experiencing all the blessing he has to offer because of his judgment that they were unable to abide the law that governs His Kingdom. As a parallel of this judgement, temple blessings are denied to those who do not abide the laws that govern His house. They are excluded so far as they are denied entrance unless they meet the conditions set by the Lord. Our homes are to be a type of temple, and to gain entrance into that holy space one must at least show respect for the standard we have set for that place.
These judgments that result in “exclusions,” that set conditions for association, are not unloving because of the function they fill in the Plan of Happiness. Their primary function is to protect the children of God and provide a way for them to return home to their Father in Heaven. When the Plan of Salvation is properly understood, when we understand the purpose of life is to learn about, choose to follow, and become like God, then we will view the mercy and love in these earthy and heavenly judgments.
False assumption #2: Making judgments is inconsistent with the love.
Judging righteously does not cancel out charity. Righteous judgement is a characteristic of charity. Charity, which is the pure love of Christ, has a list of specific characteristics so that we can judge righteously what is true love or not. Among these characteristics, Charity "rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth," it is because of the charity is always pure and obedient to the laws of God that "charity never faileth." (Moroni 7:45-47) We can retain all of the characteristics of Charity, such as kindness, humility, selflessness, not easily provoked, and still refuse to affirm, support, promote, or celebrate same-sex marriage and relations. May I venture to propose that if we do offer our encouragement of these relationships we do not fully understand Charity.
Ostler: “For me, this scripture (Alma 1:30) teaches me to ‘not send away’ my friends living outside of Mormonism and to extend my hand of love, acceptance and fellowship to all ‘those who stood in need’ without any preset conditions. For me that ‘need’ is not physical substance, but acceptance and support as an equal member of society.”
False assumption #1 Fellowship requires acceptance of sin.
Ostler conflates acceptance of homosexual lifestyles, fellowship in the church, and extending the hand of love with meeting the needs of the poor in spirit. Earlier in Ostlers posts he stated that when someone chooses to live a homosexual lifestyle, which includes the physical expression of that lifestyle which is a sin, he affirms his support and encouragement to that choice. The leaders of the church and the scriptures (which are the words of Christ) are clear on this point. Homosexual relations are a sin against the law of chastity. We welcome all sinners to come unto Christ and repent, we invite them with love and patience, but we do not offer unconditional acceptance of sin, and neither does Christ.
There are conditions of worthiness that are required for full fellowship in the kingdom of God, and entrance into his courts above, this is not to say that we should not extend loving kindness to all who enter the doors of our chapels or those whom we associate with in our workplaces and communities. Let's be clear, behaving with respect, love and kindness toward all of God's children does not require that we accept, affirm, support, or encourage aspects of their choices and lives that are sinful or immoral. We certainly are not required to celebrate these choices, or pretend (or otherwise) to be happy when they make these choices.
False assumption #2 Christian charity requires that we elevate homosexual lifestyles as equivalent to heterosexual marriage.
Ostler believes that when he offers acceptance and support for homosexual relations, and elevates that choice to an equal place in society, he is providing for the needs of those struggling with same-sex attraction. Ostler is similar to many in the church who have been beguiled by the false caricature of homosexuality. The deliberate lies by a well organized social movement have been specifically designed to trap more people into that gay lifestyles and to keep captive those who have already succumb to it. The social movement to normalize homosexual relations portrays homosexual lifestyles in a misleading light. The picture of wedded bliss they portray, denies the spiritual destruction done to the souls of those who break sacred laws of chastity.
The assertions that homosexual unions are equal in their potential for life long happiness and commitment, as traditional marriages, encourages people to seek “all the days of their lives for that which they could not obtain,” for they seek for happiness” in doing iniquity, which thing is contrary to the nature of that righteousness which is in our great and Eternal Head.” (Helaman 13:38) As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we have a sacred duty to God to stand as witnesses of His doctrines, and we must not allow ourselves to be beguiled by these powerful social deceptions. Though it may be a relief to carve out a way to appear tolerant and compassionate in the eyes of the world, and by so doing, deflect the persecution and condemnation of our associates and friends; adopting the compassion label while making what is spiritually destructive appear benign, is an attempt to spare ourselves at the expense of those in spiritual peril.
Ostler: “Could Gay Marriage be the right choice for some? I don’t have the ability to answer this question as I don’t know the right path for others.”
False assumption #1 We don't have the ability to judge the right path for others.
God has prescribed the one true and righteous path, and we know that this path is the only path to happiness, for "wickedness never was happiness." (Alma 41:10) "Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself." (2 Nephi 2:27) God has given us the ability to judge, because he has given us knowledge of the straight and narrow path and what is required to walk it. This life has many choices, but eternity has two. The right path for all of God's children leads home to Him. We cannot force others to choose the right path but when we deny the existence of a right path, we become a stumbling block to their finding it.
Ostler: “I’ve had many [of my gay friends] share their belief that this [homosexual relations] is the right road for them (some after reporting deep spiritual confirmations) and I’ve seen their marriages and these marriages appear to be filled with the same level of happiness and commitment as my straight marriage.”
False assumption #1: The Spirit will lead people to choose same-sex marriage.
The Holy Spirit does not provide "deep spiritual confirmations" directing the children of God to sin. Sin is not a stepping stone to greater association with God. God is not the author of sin, he will not and cannot abide it, "for I the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance." (D&C 1:31) And lest you allow another fallacy to enter into your reasoning here, and equate the deliberate and continual sinning against the law of chastity, with the state and nature of good men striving to live and abide the laws of God but who “come short of the glory of God,” (Romans 3:23) who exercise faith unto repentance in their progress along the straight and narrow toward perfection; consider the description of the eternal state of those who choose to live in sexual sin unrepentant: "These are they who are... adulterers... who loves and makes a lie. These are they who suffer the vengeance of eternal fire... these are they who are cast down to hell and suffer the wrath of Almighty God." (D&C 76:82-96) In connection with homosexual relations, many have come to love and make the lies of the homosexual agenda, which would have the world reject the truth that homosexual relations is a sin and that is destructive to the human soul, the human family, and human civilization.
It may be worth reviewing the scriptures pertaining to homosexual sin. (Genesis 18:20; Isaiah 3:9; Duet 23:17-18; Leviticus 18:22-25; 2 Nephi 13:8-9; Jude 1:7; 1 Timothy 1:9-10; Romans 1:24-27; 1 Corinthians 6:9; Moses 1:39; Genesis 1:26–27; Exodus 20:3–17; Matthew 16:15–19; John 17:3; 1 Corinthians 6:19–20)
False assumption #2 Same-sex marriage can lead to the same happiness and commitment of heterosexual marriage.
Judging righteously does not cancel out charity. Righteous judgement is a characteristic of charity. Charity, which is the pure love of Christ, has a list of specific characteristics so that we can judge righteously what is true love or not. Among these characteristics, Charity "rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth," it is because of the charity is always pure and obedient to the laws of God that "charity never faileth." (Moroni 7:45-47) We can retain all of the characteristics of Charity, such as kindness, humility, selflessness, not easily provoked, and still refuse to affirm, support, promote, or celebrate same-sex marriage and relations. May I venture to propose that if we do offer our encouragement of these relationships we do not fully understand Charity.
Ostler: “For me, this scripture (Alma 1:30) teaches me to ‘not send away’ my friends living outside of Mormonism and to extend my hand of love, acceptance and fellowship to all ‘those who stood in need’ without any preset conditions. For me that ‘need’ is not physical substance, but acceptance and support as an equal member of society.”
False assumption #1 Fellowship requires acceptance of sin.
Ostler conflates acceptance of homosexual lifestyles, fellowship in the church, and extending the hand of love with meeting the needs of the poor in spirit. Earlier in Ostlers posts he stated that when someone chooses to live a homosexual lifestyle, which includes the physical expression of that lifestyle which is a sin, he affirms his support and encouragement to that choice. The leaders of the church and the scriptures (which are the words of Christ) are clear on this point. Homosexual relations are a sin against the law of chastity. We welcome all sinners to come unto Christ and repent, we invite them with love and patience, but we do not offer unconditional acceptance of sin, and neither does Christ.
There are conditions of worthiness that are required for full fellowship in the kingdom of God, and entrance into his courts above, this is not to say that we should not extend loving kindness to all who enter the doors of our chapels or those whom we associate with in our workplaces and communities. Let's be clear, behaving with respect, love and kindness toward all of God's children does not require that we accept, affirm, support, or encourage aspects of their choices and lives that are sinful or immoral. We certainly are not required to celebrate these choices, or pretend (or otherwise) to be happy when they make these choices.
False assumption #2 Christian charity requires that we elevate homosexual lifestyles as equivalent to heterosexual marriage.
Ostler believes that when he offers acceptance and support for homosexual relations, and elevates that choice to an equal place in society, he is providing for the needs of those struggling with same-sex attraction. Ostler is similar to many in the church who have been beguiled by the false caricature of homosexuality. The deliberate lies by a well organized social movement have been specifically designed to trap more people into that gay lifestyles and to keep captive those who have already succumb to it. The social movement to normalize homosexual relations portrays homosexual lifestyles in a misleading light. The picture of wedded bliss they portray, denies the spiritual destruction done to the souls of those who break sacred laws of chastity.
The assertions that homosexual unions are equal in their potential for life long happiness and commitment, as traditional marriages, encourages people to seek “all the days of their lives for that which they could not obtain,” for they seek for happiness” in doing iniquity, which thing is contrary to the nature of that righteousness which is in our great and Eternal Head.” (Helaman 13:38) As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we have a sacred duty to God to stand as witnesses of His doctrines, and we must not allow ourselves to be beguiled by these powerful social deceptions. Though it may be a relief to carve out a way to appear tolerant and compassionate in the eyes of the world, and by so doing, deflect the persecution and condemnation of our associates and friends; adopting the compassion label while making what is spiritually destructive appear benign, is an attempt to spare ourselves at the expense of those in spiritual peril.
Ostler: “Could Gay Marriage be the right choice for some? I don’t have the ability to answer this question as I don’t know the right path for others.”
False assumption #1 We don't have the ability to judge the right path for others.
God has prescribed the one true and righteous path, and we know that this path is the only path to happiness, for "wickedness never was happiness." (Alma 41:10) "Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man. And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life, through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself." (2 Nephi 2:27) God has given us the ability to judge, because he has given us knowledge of the straight and narrow path and what is required to walk it. This life has many choices, but eternity has two. The right path for all of God's children leads home to Him. We cannot force others to choose the right path but when we deny the existence of a right path, we become a stumbling block to their finding it.
Ostler: “I’ve had many [of my gay friends] share their belief that this [homosexual relations] is the right road for them (some after reporting deep spiritual confirmations) and I’ve seen their marriages and these marriages appear to be filled with the same level of happiness and commitment as my straight marriage.”
False assumption #1: The Spirit will lead people to choose same-sex marriage.
The Holy Spirit does not provide "deep spiritual confirmations" directing the children of God to sin. Sin is not a stepping stone to greater association with God. God is not the author of sin, he will not and cannot abide it, "for I the Lord cannot look upon sin with the least degree of allowance." (D&C 1:31) And lest you allow another fallacy to enter into your reasoning here, and equate the deliberate and continual sinning against the law of chastity, with the state and nature of good men striving to live and abide the laws of God but who “come short of the glory of God,” (Romans 3:23) who exercise faith unto repentance in their progress along the straight and narrow toward perfection; consider the description of the eternal state of those who choose to live in sexual sin unrepentant: "These are they who are... adulterers... who loves and makes a lie. These are they who suffer the vengeance of eternal fire... these are they who are cast down to hell and suffer the wrath of Almighty God." (D&C 76:82-96) In connection with homosexual relations, many have come to love and make the lies of the homosexual agenda, which would have the world reject the truth that homosexual relations is a sin and that is destructive to the human soul, the human family, and human civilization.
It may be worth reviewing the scriptures pertaining to homosexual sin. (Genesis 18:20; Isaiah 3:9; Duet 23:17-18; Leviticus 18:22-25; 2 Nephi 13:8-9; Jude 1:7; 1 Timothy 1:9-10; Romans 1:24-27; 1 Corinthians 6:9; Moses 1:39; Genesis 1:26–27; Exodus 20:3–17; Matthew 16:15–19; John 17:3; 1 Corinthians 6:19–20)
False assumption #2 Same-sex marriage can lead to the same happiness and commitment of heterosexual marriage.
The counterfeit copies of the family can never lead to the lasting commitment and happiness of families organized after the pattern of the Lord. Even though couples who live in sexual sin say they are happy, and they "seem" to have happy relationships, is not evidence of the health of these relationships. These relationships are forbidden by God because of their power to hold captive those who live in them and the children brought into them. To elevate them to the equal station as those unions organized in God's way is a great deception that is not only dangerous and damaging to those who choose these sinful lifestyles, but these deceptions beguile compassionate well-intentioned people to rationalize that homosexuality isn't a serious sin and to affirm cohabitation and homosexual marriage (so long as it is monogamous and long lasting) as a healthy and good choice; further affecting the lives of unborn generations who will struggle in these broken homes.
Ostler: “It isn’t my job to prescribe the correct road for others.”
False assumption #1 It isn't our responsibility to testify of, and teach others about, the straight and narrow path that leads us to Christ.
God has prescribed the correct road, and called us to testify of the truth of his Plan and to lead our brothers and sisters out of darkness. True love and compassion for our fellowmen must have as its guiding star the earnest and loving desire to invite all men to come unto Christ. We are called to be witnesses for Him in these last days of toil and strife. When all the world is gone astray, we are expected to lovingly lead, guide, and walk beside our brothers and sisters on the straight and narrow that leads us home. We cannot save them from the midst of darkness if we let go of the rod of iron and wander in darkness with them.
How can we stretch our arms out in love to them, and bring them into the path that leads to the tree of life, if we don’t have a clear understanding of God’s plan of happiness wherein real joy comes to His children? If we allow our view of the doctrine of the family, which is central to the Plan of Happiness, to be obscured by the deceptions of the world, or by our desire to be at peace with the social trends of our times, we will be unable to guide others to the tree of life. Elder Ballard, speaking of how we are to boldly teach the doctrine of the family as central to the plan of salvation, said that we must “help them to know it, embrace it, participate in it, and defend it.”
Ostler: “In saying this I’m not encouraging my gay friends to consider or enter a same-sex marriage.” THIS IS AN INTERESTING ASSERTION WHEN IT IS FOLLOWED BY THESE SENTIMENTS: “In my own lived experience interacting with those in a same-sex marriage, I see the same things I’ve seen in straight marriages … two people that love each other … deeply committed … trying to support and lift each other … seeing the best in each other … careers serving others … often connecting and helping others on the margins of society.” THEN FOLLOWED BY ANOTHER CONTRADICTORY THOUGHT: “I also discourage same-sex exploratory experiences.”
False assumption #1 I'm not encouraging my gay friends to consider same-sex marriage, BUT I see the value of same-sex marriage as equal to heterosexual marriage.
When we elevate homosexual relationships and affirm an equivalency between the choice to enter into a homosexual union with those who enter into unions ordained by God, we are most certainly giving encouragement to those who struggle with same-sex attraction to consider same-sex marriage (in express opposition to the law of chastity) as a valid, even honorable, joyful, and fulfilling option to satiate their desires. When we engage in this kind of speech we are doing the exact opposite of discouraging people to explore same-sex experiences.
Ostler: “But isn’t Gay Marriage detrimental to society? I don’t know about this anymore.”
False assumption #1: I don't know... anymore...
The answer is known. Here Ostler uses the classic "I don't know," which is an excuse for I don't believe, or I don't want to do. I don't know in this instance is clearly a case of, “I'm no longer sure that what church leaders have said in answer to this question is the will of Christ.” The Lord has made the answer to this question very clear, if we don't know anymore, we have rejected the premise that whether by His voice or by the "voice of His servants it is the same." (D&C 1:38) Here is how the Lord has answered this question through his anointed leaders:
How can we stretch our arms out in love to them, and bring them into the path that leads to the tree of life, if we don’t have a clear understanding of God’s plan of happiness wherein real joy comes to His children? If we allow our view of the doctrine of the family, which is central to the Plan of Happiness, to be obscured by the deceptions of the world, or by our desire to be at peace with the social trends of our times, we will be unable to guide others to the tree of life. Elder Ballard, speaking of how we are to boldly teach the doctrine of the family as central to the plan of salvation, said that we must “help them to know it, embrace it, participate in it, and defend it.”
Ostler: “In saying this I’m not encouraging my gay friends to consider or enter a same-sex marriage.” THIS IS AN INTERESTING ASSERTION WHEN IT IS FOLLOWED BY THESE SENTIMENTS: “In my own lived experience interacting with those in a same-sex marriage, I see the same things I’ve seen in straight marriages … two people that love each other … deeply committed … trying to support and lift each other … seeing the best in each other … careers serving others … often connecting and helping others on the margins of society.” THEN FOLLOWED BY ANOTHER CONTRADICTORY THOUGHT: “I also discourage same-sex exploratory experiences.”
False assumption #1 I'm not encouraging my gay friends to consider same-sex marriage, BUT I see the value of same-sex marriage as equal to heterosexual marriage.
When we elevate homosexual relationships and affirm an equivalency between the choice to enter into a homosexual union with those who enter into unions ordained by God, we are most certainly giving encouragement to those who struggle with same-sex attraction to consider same-sex marriage (in express opposition to the law of chastity) as a valid, even honorable, joyful, and fulfilling option to satiate their desires. When we engage in this kind of speech we are doing the exact opposite of discouraging people to explore same-sex experiences.
Ostler: “But isn’t Gay Marriage detrimental to society? I don’t know about this anymore.”
False assumption #1: I don't know... anymore...
The answer is known. Here Ostler uses the classic "I don't know," which is an excuse for I don't believe, or I don't want to do. I don't know in this instance is clearly a case of, “I'm no longer sure that what church leaders have said in answer to this question is the will of Christ.” The Lord has made the answer to this question very clear, if we don't know anymore, we have rejected the premise that whether by His voice or by the "voice of His servants it is the same." (D&C 1:38) Here is how the Lord has answered this question through his anointed leaders:
From "The Family: A Proclamation to the World"
WE WARN that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.
WE CALL UPON responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.
From "The Divine Institution of Marriage"
Perhaps the most common argument that proponents of same-sex marriage make is that it is essentially harmless and will not affect the institution of traditional heterosexual marriage in any way. “It won’t affect your marriage, so why should you care?” is the common refrain. While it may be true that allowing same-sex marriage will not immediately and directly affect existing marriages, the real question is how it will affect society as a whole over time, including the rising generation and future generations.
Traditional marriage provides the most solid and well-established social identity for children. It increases the likelihood that they will be able to form a clear gender identity, with sexuality closely linked to both love and procreation. By contrast, the legal recognition of same-sex marriage may, over time, erode the social identity, gender development, and moral character of children. No dialogue on this issue can be complete without taking into account the long-term consequences for children.
Strong, stable families, headed by a father and mother, are the anchor of society. When marriage is undermined by gender confusion and by distortions of its God-given meaning, the rising generation of children and youth will find it increasingly difficult to develop their natural identities as men or women. Some will find it more difficult to engage in wholesome courtships, form stable marriages, and raise another generation imbued with moral strength and purpose.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, along with many other churches, organizations, and individuals, will continue to defend the sanctity of marriage between a man and a woman, because it is a compelling moral issue of profound importance to our religion and to the future of society.
The final words in the Church’s proclamation on the family are an admonition to the world from the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles: “We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.”
Ostler: When gay friends get married, “I... offer a comment of congratulations. I ‘see’ these posts as a fellow human being moving forward with their life in a way they feel is right for them.”
False assumption #1: I don't encourage and promote same-sex marriage, but I offer congratulations.
Congratulations is defined as words expressing praise for an achievement or good wishes for a person. Would you similarly offer a comment of congratulations if a single female friend of yours posted her good news that she had decided not to wait for the "right guy" in order to start the family she has always longed to have, and that she would be moving forward to fulfill her life's desire to be a mother on her own? Would you offer affirmative praise to your heterosexual friends who celebrate their moving in together with an open house? Does Christlike charity require you to offer your public praise when others make willful choices to sin? Even when those you associate make such choices in ignorance, is it necessary that you celebrate their choice with words of congratulations?
Of course it isn't necessary, helpful, or Christlike to offer your personal public condemnation for every sinful choice your friends and associates make, but likewise, it isn't necessary that you offer your affirmation, support, and congratulations when they choose to enter lives of sin. It is not so complicated to refrain from offering praise and congratulations, while still being kind and respectful.
#2 Homosexual marriage represents a forward movement in life.
Our Father in Heaven weeps for his children when they choose life paths that will cause them to sin so egregiously that their spiritual senses will be dulled and they will be cut off from his blessings and protection. Entering into a homosexual relationship, or any cohabitation relationship, can never be viewed as a joyful step forward in life, and sending that message only helps to entrap those persons who are confused about the path to happiness. True love and compassion must lead us to respectful opposition to sin, and sinful lifestyles. True love and compassion must lead us to teach true principles and encourage others to bring their lives in line with Christ’s teachings and plan. True love and compassion will always aid others to enter into the straight and narrow path that leads to eternal life. There is no true love or compassion without this.
WE WARN that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.
WE CALL UPON responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.
From "The Divine Institution of Marriage"
Perhaps the most common argument that proponents of same-sex marriage make is that it is essentially harmless and will not affect the institution of traditional heterosexual marriage in any way. “It won’t affect your marriage, so why should you care?” is the common refrain. While it may be true that allowing same-sex marriage will not immediately and directly affect existing marriages, the real question is how it will affect society as a whole over time, including the rising generation and future generations.
Traditional marriage provides the most solid and well-established social identity for children. It increases the likelihood that they will be able to form a clear gender identity, with sexuality closely linked to both love and procreation. By contrast, the legal recognition of same-sex marriage may, over time, erode the social identity, gender development, and moral character of children. No dialogue on this issue can be complete without taking into account the long-term consequences for children.
Strong, stable families, headed by a father and mother, are the anchor of society. When marriage is undermined by gender confusion and by distortions of its God-given meaning, the rising generation of children and youth will find it increasingly difficult to develop their natural identities as men or women. Some will find it more difficult to engage in wholesome courtships, form stable marriages, and raise another generation imbued with moral strength and purpose.
The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, along with many other churches, organizations, and individuals, will continue to defend the sanctity of marriage between a man and a woman, because it is a compelling moral issue of profound importance to our religion and to the future of society.
The final words in the Church’s proclamation on the family are an admonition to the world from the First Presidency and the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles: “We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.”
Ostler: When gay friends get married, “I... offer a comment of congratulations. I ‘see’ these posts as a fellow human being moving forward with their life in a way they feel is right for them.”
False assumption #1: I don't encourage and promote same-sex marriage, but I offer congratulations.
Congratulations is defined as words expressing praise for an achievement or good wishes for a person. Would you similarly offer a comment of congratulations if a single female friend of yours posted her good news that she had decided not to wait for the "right guy" in order to start the family she has always longed to have, and that she would be moving forward to fulfill her life's desire to be a mother on her own? Would you offer affirmative praise to your heterosexual friends who celebrate their moving in together with an open house? Does Christlike charity require you to offer your public praise when others make willful choices to sin? Even when those you associate make such choices in ignorance, is it necessary that you celebrate their choice with words of congratulations?
Of course it isn't necessary, helpful, or Christlike to offer your personal public condemnation for every sinful choice your friends and associates make, but likewise, it isn't necessary that you offer your affirmation, support, and congratulations when they choose to enter lives of sin. It is not so complicated to refrain from offering praise and congratulations, while still being kind and respectful.
#2 Homosexual marriage represents a forward movement in life.
Our Father in Heaven weeps for his children when they choose life paths that will cause them to sin so egregiously that their spiritual senses will be dulled and they will be cut off from his blessings and protection. Entering into a homosexual relationship, or any cohabitation relationship, can never be viewed as a joyful step forward in life, and sending that message only helps to entrap those persons who are confused about the path to happiness. True love and compassion must lead us to respectful opposition to sin, and sinful lifestyles. True love and compassion must lead us to teach true principles and encourage others to bring their lives in line with Christ’s teachings and plan. True love and compassion will always aid others to enter into the straight and narrow path that leads to eternal life. There is no true love or compassion without this.
In conclusion:
Ostler said much about extending love and compassion to those struggling with same-sex attraction, though he didn't fully describe it as a struggle against sin, the prophetic counsels he sites are in their proper context full of great wisdom. It is necessary for members of the church today to develop a greater capacity for love, for tolerance, for compassion. We must learn how to lovingly communicate with our associates and friends, and in the public square on these highly charged topics, but we cannot abandon our duty to stand as witness of God and to defend his plan and pattern for families in this world and the next. This will not be easy, telling the truth rarely is, but we are under covenant to do this essential work.
We must “earnestly contend for the faith.” (Jude 1:3) We must wield the sword of truth in the public square. “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” (Ephesians 6:12) We should not expect to be at peace with the world if we are to be one with Christ. “If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you.” (John 15:18) We should not expect to escape confrontation and persecution when we stand as witnesses of Christ and His plan. “Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.” (Matt. 10:35) This doesn’t mean that we should contend for the faith in anger, causing contention with unkind words. Of course, we cannot stand as witnesses of Christ unless we do so in the way he has commanded.
In what spirit should we defend the plan of God? The Book of Mormon teaches us to “use boldness, but not overbearance; and also see that ye bridle all your passions, that ye may be filled with love” (Alma 38:12) Christ instructs us to defend the plan without being overcome by the spirit of contention. “He that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another.” (3 Nephi 11:29) We can and must testify of truth without succumbing to the spirit of contention. If we do this, if we stand as witnesses, if we preach His words in His spirit, we will find the balance between truth and tolerance and be able to be loving and compassionate to those who struggle with same-sex attraction.
Ostler said much about extending love and compassion to those struggling with same-sex attraction, though he didn't fully describe it as a struggle against sin, the prophetic counsels he sites are in their proper context full of great wisdom. It is necessary for members of the church today to develop a greater capacity for love, for tolerance, for compassion. We must learn how to lovingly communicate with our associates and friends, and in the public square on these highly charged topics, but we cannot abandon our duty to stand as witness of God and to defend his plan and pattern for families in this world and the next. This will not be easy, telling the truth rarely is, but we are under covenant to do this essential work.
We must “earnestly contend for the faith.” (Jude 1:3) We must wield the sword of truth in the public square. “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.” (Ephesians 6:12) We should not expect to be at peace with the world if we are to be one with Christ. “If the world hate you, ye know that it hated me before it hated you.” (John 15:18) We should not expect to escape confrontation and persecution when we stand as witnesses of Christ and His plan. “Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.” (Matt. 10:35) This doesn’t mean that we should contend for the faith in anger, causing contention with unkind words. Of course, we cannot stand as witnesses of Christ unless we do so in the way he has commanded.
In what spirit should we defend the plan of God? The Book of Mormon teaches us to “use boldness, but not overbearance; and also see that ye bridle all your passions, that ye may be filled with love” (Alma 38:12) Christ instructs us to defend the plan without being overcome by the spirit of contention. “He that hath the spirit of contention is not of me, but is of the devil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another.” (3 Nephi 11:29) We can and must testify of truth without succumbing to the spirit of contention. If we do this, if we stand as witnesses, if we preach His words in His spirit, we will find the balance between truth and tolerance and be able to be loving and compassionate to those who struggle with same-sex attraction.
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