Generally I am little bothered by the passing jokes in media and the quirky ill informed caricatures in entertainment. My reaction is to Ignore the ignorant slights and focus on what matters most in my day to day life. From the most noted pop culture distortion of our religion, the Book of Mormon play on Broadway, to the many small jabs and jokes that disparage our religion throughout popular entertainment, I’ve never taken time to respond in any direct way.
Recently Hulu announced a show called, “The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives,” with the trailer displaying swinging twerking so-called “Mormon moms” as they join hands with a Mormon Temple in the background. This newest social media tripe, turned into Hulu’s newest salacious money-grabbing stunt, is so offensive to the women in my church and so antithetical to the true teachings and lives of devout members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, that I felt compelled to respond.
WHAT OUR CHURCH TEACHES ABOUT GENDER, SEXUALITY, MARRIAGE, AND FAMILY LIFE:
As with most Christian teaching, the principles of the church are family centered, and this means that at the center of our lives is duty to God and family; with all other things, including education and career, being tools and supports for that primary aspiration and focus. We educate ourselves to be better able to teach and provide for our children, and if for some reason out of our control we are unable to marry or have children, we use our God given talents and gifts to bless others in ways that support human flourishing and glorify God.
In our religion we are taught and believe that God organized us into families to help us become what he wants us to be. We believe this is a primary way that God shares his love, and we teach that the family is of God. We honor that by putting marriage and family life — the selfless pursuit of building a family and nurturing children — at the center of what we desire in this life. This is encouraged for both men and women.
The church teaches that men and women are equal partners in life’s most precious purposes, however, the church does not teach that equality means “sameness.” That is not the idea of equality that permeates Christian scripture. The equality between men and women is understood as being equally essential in God’s plan for his children and having roles equal to each other in their power to accomplish the central purpose. Men and women are equally valued by God — as we are all children of God — and we are equal in our divine potential; as such men and women should treat each other with reverence and love.
Yes, there are differences in the roles men and women fill in the home and by extension society. The church does not shy away from this long held truth that supports the flourishing of the human family and society. Many misconstrue these teachings or take them to extremes, but they are simple beautiful reflections of God’s order and his love. When we honor our God given natures and magnify our family roles, we experience the greatest joy and meaningful fulfillment that can be had in this life.
Men are taught to see their career as being the primary physical support for a family, not as a means for gaining the praise of the world. Thus, career should be pursued in such a way as to support the family without taking away from the integrity of the home. They are taught that the most important work they do will be in the walls of their homes. They are taught to love and respect their wives, to sustain their wives in their unique role as mother, and to counsel with their wives as they preside in their homes.
Women are taught that they are endowed by God with unique qualities that support their primary role as mother. They are inspired by church leaders to come to understand their immeasurable influence in the lives of their families, and to attend especially to the physical and spiritual development of their children. Women are taught to partner with their husbands and God in making their first priority and focus their children and the home that nurtures them. They are taught to respect their husbands, to recognize their unique God given qualities as they fulfill their role as leaders in their homes, and to counsel with their husbands in love and respect.
Mutual respect and love between spouses, unified attention to the primary God given purposes of life, and complete fidelity in marriage are at the center of the teachings of the doctrine of the family as taught in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.
There is no need for confusion about what the church teaches in this critical area of life. The church has a clearly written comprehensive statement that lays out its teachings for the whole world. The definitive source for this subject is, “The Family: A Proclamation to the World.” Here are some key points:
“Marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children… God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.“Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.“The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.
“We understand the fascination some in the media have with the Church, but regret that portrayals often rely on sensationalism and inaccuracies that do not fairly and fully reflect the lives of our Church members or the sacred beliefs that they hold dear. Millions of Church members around the world are deeply dedicated to family, fidelity, service and the gospel of Jesus Christ. We invite all to consult reliable sources of information and listen to the voices and authentic experiences of individuals and families who find great joy and satisfaction in living these principles.”