Modesty: How We Express Virtue
Modesty: As an outward expression of inward virtue.
Modesty: As a quality — a virtue — of being unassuming, restrained, and appropriately humble about oneself. In Christian teaching the outward expression of this virtue should permeates our behavior. It is synonymous with humility, temperance, chastity, purity, reverence, meekness, soberness, etc.. Take any virtue and you could discuss what that virtue looks like in practice. You will discover that we wear these virtues on the outside with specific behaviors and habits. You could say modesty is how inward virtue is seen by others.
Modesty & Chastity:
When we discuss modesty as an expression of Chasity we recognize how grooming and dress, combined with body language and speech, are the behavioral tools humans use to send powerful sexual signals to others. Properly oriented and employed, sexuality is an important part of God’s plan to create happy marriages and eternal families. Sexual feelings are so sacred and so powerful, that we must treat our dress and grooming as a very important way to keep that power within the bounds God has set.
Modesty & Love for Others
A Modest person treats their bodies — and others’ bodies — with respect. Heavenly Father wants us to see each other for who we really are: not just physical bodies but His beloved children with a divine destiny. We should be careful about how our dress and appearance will affect other people, especially how it affects the thoughts and sexual responses of others. As such, we should avoid styles that emphasize or bring inappropriate attention to our physical bodies. When we dress our bodies, choose our actions and speech, it should be done with careful attention to moral cleanliness; for ourselves and others.
How is Modesty Learned?
Modesty in dress, appearance, and language is a paradigm — it’s created as habits are formed in the home you grow up in, as part of your family culture. — Even if you step away from that modesty culture in your teens or young adulthood, your modesty paradigm from childhood still weighs heavily on how you view modesty.
Modesty is Inculcated at Home
Children will grow up learning modesty in dress and grooming from the way their parents signal modesty. What parents wear in different settings, how they groom themselves, is how their child learns what is appropriate in what circumstance.
How parents dress and groom their children from a small age, creates a comfort level a child will develop that will guide what they feel is appropriate in their grooming and clothing. Appropriate dress does change with age, and modesty in dress is situational in nature, so it follows that for children to learn it they must observe consistent patterns through the modeling in the home.
As they grow older teach them the principles that are foundational to the virtue of modesty, explain why you have the specific habits of modesty that you do, and finally uphold your family’s modesty culture through expectations and standards for your children to follow.
Unfortunately, when the broader culture does not model Modesty in appearance and language, but rather is immodest and vulgar, it presents a challenge, but don’t treat it as a greater challenge than cleaving faithfully to any other virtue of Christian devotion. The same principles of faithfulness apply.
If you want to have the greatest impact on the modesty paradigm your children will adopt, and impart to them your modesty culture, then begin by intentionally modeling appropriate dress by your own choices, dress them modestly from a young age, and set specific expectations and standards for your children to follow.
Modesty: As a quality — a virtue — of being unassuming, restrained, and appropriately humble about oneself. In Christian teaching the outward expression of this virtue should permeates our behavior. It is synonymous with humility, temperance, chastity, purity, reverence, meekness, soberness, etc.. Take any virtue and you could discuss what that virtue looks like in practice. You will discover that we wear these virtues on the outside with specific behaviors and habits. You could say modesty is how inward virtue is seen by others.
Modesty & Chastity:
When we discuss modesty as an expression of Chasity we recognize how grooming and dress, combined with body language and speech, are the behavioral tools humans use to send powerful sexual signals to others. Properly oriented and employed, sexuality is an important part of God’s plan to create happy marriages and eternal families. Sexual feelings are so sacred and so powerful, that we must treat our dress and grooming as a very important way to keep that power within the bounds God has set.
Modesty & Love for Others
A Modest person treats their bodies — and others’ bodies — with respect. Heavenly Father wants us to see each other for who we really are: not just physical bodies but His beloved children with a divine destiny. We should be careful about how our dress and appearance will affect other people, especially how it affects the thoughts and sexual responses of others. As such, we should avoid styles that emphasize or bring inappropriate attention to our physical bodies. When we dress our bodies, choose our actions and speech, it should be done with careful attention to moral cleanliness; for ourselves and others.
How is Modesty Learned?
Modesty in dress, appearance, and language is a paradigm — it’s created as habits are formed in the home you grow up in, as part of your family culture. — Even if you step away from that modesty culture in your teens or young adulthood, your modesty paradigm from childhood still weighs heavily on how you view modesty.
Modesty is Inculcated at Home
Children will grow up learning modesty in dress and grooming from the way their parents signal modesty. What parents wear in different settings, how they groom themselves, is how their child learns what is appropriate in what circumstance.
How parents dress and groom their children from a small age, creates a comfort level a child will develop that will guide what they feel is appropriate in their grooming and clothing. Appropriate dress does change with age, and modesty in dress is situational in nature, so it follows that for children to learn it they must observe consistent patterns through the modeling in the home.
As they grow older teach them the principles that are foundational to the virtue of modesty, explain why you have the specific habits of modesty that you do, and finally uphold your family’s modesty culture through expectations and standards for your children to follow.
Unfortunately, when the broader culture does not model Modesty in appearance and language, but rather is immodest and vulgar, it presents a challenge, but don’t treat it as a greater challenge than cleaving faithfully to any other virtue of Christian devotion. The same principles of faithfulness apply.
If you want to have the greatest impact on the modesty paradigm your children will adopt, and impart to them your modesty culture, then begin by intentionally modeling appropriate dress by your own choices, dress them modestly from a young age, and set specific expectations and standards for your children to follow.
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